Words are one of the many communication tools that we use, and we all know in a conversation or a certain communication, there are two parties involved, from one side, we have the person speaking and from the other side we have the receiver, therefore the responsibility falls on both. As a person speaking it is very important to start thinking and measure your words before saying it, don’t over think it, just run this quick check list through your mind before saying your word: 1-is it true? 2-is it necessary? 3-is it kind? A little reminder to keep it real, that’s it. While at it, please do not lose your spontaneity just for the sake of saying a nice words, a word should be coming from the heart, false flattery and compliments that are not congruent with what you’re feeling or thinking aren’t true nor necessary ( remember that check list!) .
Besides the check list, we can also start changing our vocabulary and minimizing the use of negative words as much as we can. We can always convey a message even if it was negative while using positive words, an example of that is when a child asks his mother for candy and the mother doesn’t want to give it to him at that time, instead of saying the word ”No” to the child, which causes immediate change in the brain function, she can convey the same message without using negative words, by saying: Yes you can have a candy after lunch or in the weekend or in the next birthday party etc...
A scientific experiment was done, where the brain of a person in a FMRI scanner was studied, they have flashed the word “NO” for less than one second, and the video showed a sudden release of dozens of stress-producing hormones and neurotransmitters. These chemicals immediately interrupt the normal functioning of the brain, impairing logic, reason, language processing, and communication.
In his book “the hidden messages in water”, Masaru Emoto a Japanese author and pseudo scientist who said that human consciousness has an effect on the molecular structure of water, his early worked revolved on the pseudo scientific hypotheses that water could react to positive thoughts and words and that polluted water could be cleaned by positive words and visualization.
Words are the reflection of a person’s character, mood and intention; therefore a bad word coming out of our mouth is the residue of all unprocessed negative emotions that lies within us.
Your words belong to you and you only, until the person who you are addressing, accept them.
In one of Buddha’s stories, he encounters a man who tried to verbally assault, demean and ridicule him, but then without success he gave up! When he asked Buddha why didn’t he react, the Buddha calmly responded ”if you offer me a gift and I don’t accept it, to whom does this gift belong to?”
People can offer us their words and opinions, it can’t hurt us unless we let it land in our hearts and minds.
Now when someone takes a bad word to heart and react to it, it is only because it resonates with them, it would have probably touched a present wound or a negative emotion that this person is dealing with consciously or subconsciously. For example if someone is struggling with their weight or body image, and are constantly beating themselves up about it, or thinking about it all the time, and then comes another person that makes a comment about their weight or blurts out a negative word to them, the impact of that word and the effect could be devastating to the person receiving it. Unfortunately not everyone has reached the level of self love needed in order to build up that resilience and self protecting shield. Therefore it is not only the person that is saying the words who need to be held responsible for what he or she says. The thing is we can’t change the world or control the people around us, but the good news is that we change ourselves, empower our minds, learn self Love, self acceptance, Love what you have, fix what you don’t like about yourself, and accept what you can’t change, the time will come when we’ll be wiser and more in tune with ourselves and understand that everything we have including the things we didn’t like or accept about ourselves, or whatever situation we are in, was meant to be for a reason.