It’s Valentine’s day, typically I should be talking about love and butterflies in the stomach, but instead I chose to talk about the lack of Love and compassion, about the knots in the stomach, that me and thousands other people have experienced due to a viral bullying video that has leaked few days ago in our community.

I’m not going to go in depth and describe the series of events in that infamous video that is involving few grade seven students, but to say the least, there was a bully, a victim and couple of passive aggressive members.

It was just after dinner when the notification started pouring in and I started receiving the video on different group chats. Me, my husband and our eleven year old son started watching in disbelief, as we recognize the school uniform of the kids in the video. I got chills. This has just hit too close to home, it has happened in our beloved school, in my children’s second home. These were kids just a year older than my son. Wow! Innocence long gone!

I discreetly sneak a peek on my son’s face trying to make meaning of his feelings and reaction, and it gutted me to see his beautiful big brown eyes, go even wider. First I translated shock, then, there was a mix of fear, concern and worry.

Coincidentally, this has happened just couple of days after I spoke about judging people too fast, on national TV. They say walk the talk and practice what you preach, but boy it was a tough call! I was caught up in a situation too close to my heart as a mother. I couldn’t help but wear my emotions on my sleeves. It suddenly hit me. I am judging the bully too fast! I have reacted to the disturbing scene, I Suddenly took off my holistic approach and life coaching hat. Unfortunately at that moment I could not be objective, there was so much going on in my head and in my heart. I switched to mama bear mode, wanting to protect her cubs ferociously; my thoughts immediately went to the victim and her family. It was a moment of vulnerability, of weakness or shall we just call it Human!

I have remembered the wise words of Gabby Bernstein author of “Judgment Detox”, I remember her explaining beautifully that you shouldn’t judge yourself, judging others (or yourself), just stop yourself, acknowledge it, and start the reasoning. 

In the aftermath of that video, the reasoning and the data collection started, as concerned parents started exchanging information. Other kids and parents started coming forward with bullying stories involving the same girl in the video, stories dating to four and five years back, wow, talking about a #metoo movement.

I thought that usually would involve more like older people, who have over the years chosen to nourish the narcissist side of them . How can an individual build a history of bullying at this young age, something has terribly gone wrong, and it suddenly hit me, a child bully is more of a victim than the victim herself. People, including me, have been hating on the bully, but more hate is not going to fix anything. Love is the missing ingredient here, It has been missing all along. Now that we have processed our feelings, let us help fix the formula, let us start pouring love and sending positive energy, to everyone who has been affected, but first and foremost, to the bully as she obviously is the one who needs it most.